Loss is really a state of scenario where we do not just lose something or someone, we lose a part of ourselves at the event and resulting process; the identity goes through deconstruction, which overhaul, for the fortunate ones, is the genesis of reformation.
It is because within the brain – the conscious mind – there are like seven rooms, with distance, for thought, for cognition, for creativity, for attribution, for communication, for difficulty. The subconscious mind escapes in sleep and carries us off into a dream the opposite of nightmares, and that’s why we cannot face the first waking moment in despair – when we can wish for anything but sense. However, it’s the conscious mind that we’re interested in, for the conditions of memory.
If there are seven rooms, the notional complete picture of a conscious mind able to perform all the tasks we expect it to, some of those rooms are completely occupied from the stress implicit of grief. Some of them are partially full with a convoluted, confused mix of information designed to confound us easily. (These are the same conditions someone with sleep deprivation encounters.)
A large portion of the problem for those who grieve who are elderly is the distress within the thought that is Alzheimer’s disease – the commonest dementia. Sharp and cavernous grief can mimic dementia, at least to persons unqualified to evaluate it, who fear such a ‘could-it-be’ diagnosis. And we know that there is early onset dementia, so the fact that we can develop it at any age means anyone experiencing the memory deficits outbound of loss can feel threatened – that further exacerbates stress, adding pressure to the already crowded accommodation facility in our mind. Small wonder we can feel confounded.
It’s great to know there’s a reason loss impacts memory during despair, because it explains it that major stress inhibits your mind. Acknowledging stress helps us understand we best go gently, not expecting too much, even expecting the mental, Animal control near me, psychological and spiritual limitations we face. Thankfully grief doesn’t limit memory permanently.